Glosse: Die digitale Stadt
Press play and listen as many times as you like — the transcript appears once you check your answers.
C2.1 · 21 of 30
Hören: Satire
Lesson · 4 rules · about 4 min
Hör, wie eine Radioglosse das „digitale“ Portal einer Stadt lobt, und erwisch, wie jedes Kompliment es still zerlegt.
- 1Scheinlob: Nimm das Lob wörtlich und schau dann auf die Fakten
- 2Der Widerspruch ist der Witz
- 3Stilbrüche: Zitierter Jargon trifft auf Alltagsbilder
- 4Die Pointe richtet die Satire gegen den Sprecher
Why this matters
Eine Radioglosse von etwa 500 Wörtern, nur einmal zu hören: Ein Moderator lobt das neue Bürgerportal seiner Stadt, „Stadt direkt“, und nimmt das Lob Satz für Satz auseinander. Sie beginnt mit feierlichem Scheinlob, „Unsere Stadt ist digital.“, und unterläuft es sofort mit dem Plakat, das „man wegen der Baustelle davor leider nur mit dem Fernglas lesen kann“. Dann arbeitet sie sich durch eine Kette von Widersprüchen (ein Aktivierungscode „Per Post“, ein Ausweisantrag, den man online ausfüllt und dann ausdruckt, Beschwerden, die „ausgedruckt und in der Poststelle abgeheftet“ werden, eine Einladung zu einem Digitalisierungspreis, die „kam per Fax“), zitiert Amtsjargon („medienbruchfrei“, „vollumfänglich, nachhaltig und bürgernah“) gegen Alltagsbilder und endet mit einer Pointe, die den Sprecher selbst erwischt. Die acht Fragen wollen wissen, worauf die Glosse zielt, was einzelne Sätze wirklich meinen und welche satirische Technik am Werk ist; keine davon lässt sich allein aus dem Wortlaut beantworten.
Translation
Ladies and gentlemen, dear listeners, today I have the pleasure of telling you a success story. Our city is digital. Not a little bit digital, not on the way there, but comprehensively, sustainably and citizen-friendly digital. That, at least, is what it says on the poster at the town hall, which, because of the building site in front of it, can unfortunately only be read with binoculars. Since the first of March there has been the new citizens' portal "Stadt direkt" ("City direct"). Anyone who needs an appointment at the citizens' office no longer has to stand in the queue for hours. They can now sit in front of the screen for hours. That is progress that should not be underestimated: your back thanks you for it, and your own chair is more comfortable than the corridor on the second floor. Registering could not be simpler. You create a user account, confirm your e-mail address and choose a password with at least twelve characters, one number, one special character and, I suspect, a blood sample. You then receive an activation code. By post. Within ten working days. Once you have received the letter, you enter the code in the portal and have thereby, and I quote the press release, "arrived in digital administration without any change of medium". "Without a change of medium" – that is a lovely phrase. It means that you no longer have to switch back and forth between paper and screen. You only switch there once and back once. And then once more when you apply for a new identity card: you can fill in the application completely online, print it, sign it and hand it in in person at the citizens' office. You get the appointment for that via the portal, of course. Now there are grumblers who claim that it used to be quicker. To these people I would like to reply: in the past nobody knew how long they would have to wait. Today the portal shows it to the minute. The next free appointment is in February. But you know it. That is what is called transparency. A lot has changed internally too. The city has created three new posts to deal with the complaints about the portal. The complaints come in – consistently digital – via an online form, are then printed out and filed in the post room. After all, one doesn't want to lose anything. The costs of the project, around four million euros, are money well spent, says the councillor in charge. After all, they have received an award: the prize for the most innovative digitisation of public administration in the state. It was presented at a festive gala. The invitation came by fax. I don't want to be unfair. The portal works. It even works excellently, Monday to Friday from eight a.m. to four p.m., except on public holidays and during maintenance work. This is announced in good time, on the home page, which unfortunately cannot be reached during maintenance. And so here I sit, ladies and gentlemen, arrived in the digital world, waiting for my activation code. The postman has already been today. He left me a note: would I kindly collect the registered letter in person at the post office branch. Appointments by online booking only.
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Exercise
Hören: Satire · C2.1
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